


when has the world ever let us win a dare?

by reyxbway



Category: Chaos Walking - Patrick Ness, Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: A Little Fall of Rain, AU, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Answer!Todd, F/M, Heavy Angst, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry Patrick Ness, I'm Sorry Victor Hugo, Les Mis AU, They're too young for this, except when i kill one of them, is this something that's supposed to happen?, take todd and viola and put them in les mis and sprinkle in a touch of owie my emotions, the chaos still walks a fair amount in this one, tiola WILL warm my angry baby heart, todd does too at this point, todd is marius, todd is still a hillbilly don't worry, viola is eponine, viola needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:53:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23791888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reyxbway/pseuds/reyxbway
Summary: what can bring you to die for a cause you don't believe in?or, i put todd and viola in chapter vi--the agony of death after the agony of life from les miserables and it led to this.
Relationships: Viola Eade/Todd Hewitt
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	when has the world ever let us win a dare?

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from the knife of never letting go!! 
> 
> this one's dedicated to all my chaos walking mutuals on twitter. y'all are the absolute best!

Viola Eade didn’t go to the barricade to die. Who does, unless they’re certain their cause will succeed and their death is a necessary sacrifice to bring about a better world? But when her best friend held out his hand and said, “Come with me, Viola, we’ll make things alright again,” she knew there was no chance for her to resist him. So she threaded her dirty fingers through his clean ones, let him pull her to her feet, and hoped he could not feel her heartbeat through her chest as he pinned the rosette of their hopeless cause to her threadbare jacket. And she let him lead her to a narrow street in the heart of the city blocked by a wall of broken furniture and more people than she ever would’ve imagined. A little fire of hope lit in her chest. Maybe Todd was right. Maybe they would make things alright again.

But when that soldier aimed the muzzle of his gun at Todd’s chest and he didn’t even seem to notice it, it extinguished her hopeful little flame and lit another one in its place. One that moved her legs before she had the chance to speak and threw her into the path of the bullet, one hand over the front of the gun as she yanked it down, with a triumphant cry.

“No!”

Her muscles begged to carry her to the ground, to fall right there at Todd’s feet and force him to notice that she’d saved him, but her heart told her to keep running, to get as far away from him as possible so he didn’t have to know that she was suffering. He’d always tried to alleviate her pain in any way he could, and it would destroy him to know that she was hurting because of him.

So she ran until the roaring pain in her stomach was too much to bear any more and fell down at the end of the street, just close enough that she could still hear the echoes of Todd’s voice as he threatened to blow the barricade up just to keep the soldiers away from his friends. A smile played at her lips as she scolded him in her mind. _Now, Todd, you’re going to make all my suffering pointless if you blow yourself up._

Her teasing was replaced by the voice of their leader, Nicola Coyle, shrill and booming through the empty street. “Todd Hewitt! What do you think gives you the right to risk all of our lives? Your recklessness could’ve killed all of us!” Viola laughed. Todd and Coyle were constantly at odds, and it comforted her to know that things hadn’t changed even though she’d disappeared. Maybe they wouldn’t change too much once she was gone.

Then he said it. Those two words that sent shivers down her whole body despite the droplets of sweat all over her body. His voice, harsh and husky, demanding to know.

“Where’s Viola?”

Viola shifted so she was resting on her elbows, biting her lip to stifle a cry as she leaned forward to see him. Even in the low light, she could see how every part of him asked the question, from his hard, set gaze to the way his feet were angled down the street toward her, primed to run when he got his answer. Though she’d run to get away from him, her heart fluttered. He wanted to see her. He cared if she was okay.

Coyle shrugged. “Not sure. Haven’t seen her since before the attack. Maybe she got scared and ran.”

Todd shook his head. “Vi’s no coward.”

“Ask around, then. Someone’s bound to know.”

Someone tapped Todd’s shoulder, and he whipped around. “What?” he snapped. The boy recoiled. Todd sighed, unable to hide his exasperation. “What is it, Lee?”

“I think I saw Viola.” Todd’s eyes went wide, and he gestured for him to go on. “Well, I saw somebody go running toward the end of the street. I think it might’ve been her.”

“Thanks.” And with that, Todd turned on his heel and ran toward her, his shoes slamming against the street, carrying him with such fervor that he passed right by her. Viola laughed, the delicate sound somehow louder than the shouts of the revolutionaries at the barricade. Todd’s head quirked to the side, and he turned his head ever-so-slightly toward her. “Viola?” he called, cupping his hand around his mouth.

Her voice caught in her throat and came out as only a little more than a breath as she said, “I’m here, Todd.” He shouted her name again, listening to it bounce off the brick buildings, calling for her a hundred times over. “Todd!” she shouted as loudly as she could muster, her words dissolving into a fit of coughs.

“Vi,” he murmured, his voice breaking as he turned and walked until he loomed over her, blocking the sliver of moon overhead. She whimpered and shifted again, pressing her wounded hand to her stomach in hopes it would ease the hurting. Her palm came back sticky and red, and her heart sank. His gaze flickered toward the sound. “Viola?”

“At your feet,” she said.

His eyes lit up and he knelt next to her, throwing his arms around her and pressing his whole body against hers. A cry came up from her throat and died on her lips as she put one arm around him, careful not to get her blood on his suit. “Viola, I’ve been lookin’ everywhere for you! Come on, we’ve gotta get back to the barricade, they’re gonna attack again any—”

“I can’t go back,” she said, resignation in her tone. She settled back onto the street, propping herself up against the wall of the nearest building. Todd cocked his head like a confused dog, shock painted on his features.

“You have to, you’re one of our best strategists! You know this city better than any of us. You know exactly how they’d attack!” he said, meeting her eyes. Hope twinkled in them, and she almost didn’t want to tell him why she couldn’t come back. “You’re our best chance, Viola. We need you.” He hesitated. “Plus, I need you there to keep Coyle from biting my head off. You know how she is.”

Viola took a deep, trembling breath. “I think I’m dying, Todd.” 

Todd recoiled like somebody had just shot him. He shook his head. “No, you’re not. You’re gonna be just fine. C’mon, we’ve got a doctor workin’ with us, says his name’s Snow, he’ll—” Todd stopped talking and started acting, sliding his arm around her back and bracing her against him as he tried to get her to her feet. She cried out the instant he touched her. Hurt flashed across his face as he eased her back to the ground, sitting down next to her. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

She shook her head, biting her lip to distract her from the pain bursting like fireworks from her wound. She sighed and looked up at him. “Maybe a little,” she admitted. One look at him told Viola that he was cursing himself all through his mind, calling himself stupid and wondering why he didn’t know better than to try to move her. She touched her good hand to his shoulder, looking into his eyes. “Hey. It’s not your fault. You know that, right?”

Todd didn’t answer, just sat there staring at the ground like the answers to all his questions lied in the gaps in the pavement. Finally, he looked back at her. “What happened?” he asked, the usual playfulness gone from his voice.

Viola hesitated, weighing the consequences of telling the truth. “I got shot,” she said with a shrug, not bothering to sugarcoat it.

Todd blinked, her words registering in his mind. He shook his head, frowning. “That’s not possible. I didn’t see you during the attack. You were—you were by the building with Corinne! They couldn’t’ve hit you back there!” 

She sighed. “Didn’t you see the gun aimed at you?”

“Yeah, and somebody stickin’ their hand on the muzzle.” Realization dawned on him, and she braced herself for the explosion she knew was building inside of him. It never came. He slumped down, burying his face in his hands. “Viola?” he asked. “You didn’t, did…” he trailed off. One look at her sheepish face told him all he needed to know. “You did.”

“I did.”

His face fell. “Why?” he asked, the question written all over him. “God, Vi, you’re supposed to be the smart one. Why would you put yourself in danger like that?” He ran his hands through his already messy hair.

“To save you,” she said like it was the only reasonable answer. “You could see this future you’re fighting for, Todd. Seemed like a shame to let you die before you got the chance. And Ben and Cillian would be devastated.” She was making things up now, hoping that if she kept talking, she’d never have to tell him the truth: she didn’t want to live in a world without Todd. He was a spark of light in the little gamine’s bleak existence, and the idea of a day where she didn’t get to tease him about his accent (he was adopted into nobility rather than born into it) and watch him roll his eyes while hiding a half-smile pained her more than she could ever imagine.

“Well, it was just your hand, right?” Todd asked, one of those half-smiles tugging on his lips. She opened her mouth to respond, but he kept talking. “Then we can save you!” he said, jumping to his feet. “Give me your good hand. I’ll help you walk, and they’ll get that bullet out of you and stitch you up, and you’ll be good as new!” His words all ran together, and he stuck his hand out to her. “With any luck you’ll be fixed up by morning.”

“Todd,” Viola said, short and soft in a way that made him freeze. “It wasn’t just my hand. It went in and out my hand and then went through my stomach. Think it pierced an organ or two.” He crumpled in on himself. She tapped his foot. “Hey, there’s still something you can do, okay?”

“Anything.”

Viola patted the spot next to her. He flopped down rather ungracefully and with little care for himself or the street. “Will you hold me?” she asked before she even knew what she was saying. Todd didn’t say anything as he scooped her into his arms, cradling her against his chest like she was his life raft and he was stranded in the middle of the ocean. 

“Any better?” he asked.

A smile flickered across her features. “Much,” she said, snuggling into him like she was always meant to be there. “It almost doesn’t hurt anymore.” He beamed, though his eyes still lacked their usual sparkle, and ran one hand over her unevenly cut blonde hair. “Do you remember the day we first met?” she asked. 

Todd laughed without thinking about it. “How could I forget?” he asked. “You snuck into my house and tried to steal the buttons off my finest coat!” He tugged at the one he was wearing, as if hiding the shiny golden buttons from her.

“I was starving!” Viola protested, voice petulant like a child’s. “And I would’ve gotten away with it if your floorboards hadn’t creaked when I breathed.” She let go of Todd’s now-stained white shirt and folded her arms across her chest.

“You were hiding under my bed!” Todd said. Viola shrug

ged. “Besides, where would you be if I hadn’t found you?”

Viola considered this. “Lonely, hungry, and probably dead.” She felt Todd’s breath hitch in his chest. That was the wrong thing to say, she decided. “Hey, do you know how glad I am that old floorboard creaked? Most people would’ve called the police immediately, but you laid right down next to me and looked me right in the eyes and said, ‘My name’s Todd. Who’re you?’” she said, pressing her hand back against his chest. He took it in his own like it was the only thing he knew how to do, the action catching her so by surprise she almost yelped. Almost.

Todd smiled. “I remember you shot me this awful glare like I’d just ruined your entire life just by asking your name. And you spat it like a curse.”

Viola laughed, ignoring how it made every part of her scream in pain. “You just said, ‘Nice to meet ya, Viola. Hungry?’ And I was scanning for the best place to escape, but my stomach growled so loud you laughed at me and stuck your hand out to me. Said, ‘C’mon, let’s get you somethin’ to eat.’” She mimicked his accent perfectly, much to Todd’s dismay.

“I really thought you were gonna cut my hand off or somethin’. But no, you just grabbed it and let me pull you out and lead you to the kitchen. Ben didn’t even bat an eye, you remember that? He just got an extra plate down and made another sandwich like you’d lived with us our whole life.” Todd smiled. “You ate that sandwich like you hadn’t eaten in months.”

“It’d been a couple of days,” Viola admitted. “And if you don’t know where your next meal’s coming from, you eat whatever you can find whenever you can find it so somebody doesn’t steal it out from under you.”

“You never told me that,” Todd said, his voice soft and a little broken.

“I didn’t want to worry you.” Her tone matched his, but brightened as she said, “And then I came back the very next day! I knocked on the door and you looked at me like I was crazy but let me in anyway. Cillian was there, and he took one look at me and just started asking me all sorts of questions. You told Ben not to worry about us and led me out of the house, apologizing left and right for Cillian’s behavior. And you took me to the Musain, remember? Introduced me to your friends like we’d known each other for more than a day. Told me you were a member of the Answer.” She nudged him, knocking him out of the trance he seemed to have fallen into. He started, then pulled her even closer.

“I remember how you smiled bigger than I’d ever seen anyone smile when they put that baguette down. You ripped into it, pulling the middle of it out of the crust. And then you got scared when they put the bill down, and you fought with me about who was going to pay it even though we both knew you didn’t have any money on you,” Todd said. “And the rest is history, ain’t it?”

“ _Isn’t_ ,” Viola corrected, tapping Todd’s nose with her index finger. He glared at her, but his face melted into a smile when he saw her gentle grin. “But yeah, it’s history. You’ve been stuck with me ever since then.”

A great shudder racked her body, sending her gaze darting around in search of any source of comfort. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she pressed her wounded hand to her stomach, where the bloodstain on her dirty white blouse grew larger and larger. One slipped out, and Todd wiped it away with the pad of his thumb. She tensed up a little bit. “Hey, Vi. You’re okay. It’s going to be okay. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you.” Every part of her trembled in his arms, her legs thumping like a rabbit’s and her breath rattling in her chest. He ran one hand through her hair and drew little circles on her back with the other, whispering soft condolences that she thought might be for him as much as for her.

Once she’d recovered enough to speak, she shifted a little bit so that her head rested on his shoulder. “Before I—”

“Don’t say it,” Todd said, more pain in his words than she’d ever heard before. “Please.” His words came through a fog, muddled and dull.

She nodded. “I just…I have to tell you something, Todd, and you don’t have to say anything, I just have to get it off my chest. I can’t leave this unsaid.”

“Anything,” Todd said.

“Before I met you, I didn’t really have anything to live for. My parents have been dead for years now, and the streets of Paris aren’t kind to scared little girls. Your house was my last hope before I turned to one of the gangs and begged for them to take me in. When you found me hiding in your room, I thought you were going to call the police on me for sure. But you gave me something I hadn’t seen in years: hope.” Tears pricked at her eyes, and she couldn’t bring herself to wipe them away. Todd did it for her. “You changed my whole life, Todd. You brought out parts of me I thought I lost when my parents died. That day at the Musain was the first time I’d laughed for as long as I can remember. You made me feel like I mattered to someone and that one day, I could be more than what I am now. And I’ll always be more thankful for that than you’ll ever know. Just a little upset it got cut short, that’s all.” She sniffled. “Stupid National Guard,” she added with a laugh.

“Can I say somethin’ too?” Todd asked, his voice small like he was ashamed of what was coming next. “You don’t have to answer either. Like you said, I just gotta say it.”

“Yeah.”

He cleared his throat. “I’m not gonna pretend to understand anything you’ve gone through. But I hope you know you’re one of the most amazin’ people I’ve ever met in my whole life. I’ve been too much of a coward to say it before, but I don’t wanna regret not tellin’ you. I just thought I’d have a lot more chances to.”

Viola’s heart thundered in her ears louder than she ever thought it could. Todd scratched the back of his neck, the way he always did when he was nervous about what she might think of something. She touched his wrist, soft like a snowfall. “Hey. Don’t worry. I _ain’t_ gonna judge you,” she said. Todd huffed at her teasing, but any fool could see the crooked grin peeking out from under his ducked head.

“From the first time I saw you, I knew there was something different about you. Didn’t know what exactly, but I knew I wanted to know you. And I’m so glad I did. You’re the best person I’ve ever known, and I’m not exaggeratin’ when I say it.” He flushed a brilliant red visible even in the low light. Viola smiled, letting him know she didn’t think he sounded stupid even when she knew he thought he did. “You know I’ve never been too good with words, and you said it a lot better than I could, but I’m gonna try anyway.”

“I promise I’ll understand what you mean.”

He took her hand again and squeezed it. “You always do, don’t you? Even when I don’t think I’m sayin’ what I mean, you figure it out and tell me what I’m thinkin’. And you know just how to make me smile or laugh when I’ve gotten in a fight with Cillian or Coyle. You have since the day we met.” Tears welled up in his eyes, and he shook his head to try to get rid of them. It didn’t work. “I don’t know what you think I’m supposed to do without you, Viola. I can’t remember what things were like before you, and I don’t want to even think about what they’re going to be like after.” He kept speaking, but for the first time, Viola didn’t have a clue what he was saying, his words lost in the flood of tears. After a moment or two, he gave up and buried his head in her shoulder, low, broken sobs filling her ears. Not having the words to comfort them or the strength to find them, she did the only thing she knew how: held him close enough that their silhouettes melted into each other, feeling him shake against her.

As much as she would have loved to continue holding him forever, the black spots creeping closer to the center of her vision let her know she’d never have that luxury. “Todd?” she said, her voice hoarse. He leaned away from her, still clutching her shoulders. His eyes searched hers for the question before she asked it. “Will you promise me something?”

“Anything, Viola.”

“When I’m gone, will you kiss me on the forehead? I know it’s silly, but I’ve—”

“I’ll do you one better,” he said with a confidence she hadn’t seen in ages and a smile that filled Viola up with anticipation.

And before she even knew what was happening, one of his hands was around her back and the other cupped her cheek and his lips were on hers. Her eyes flashed wide and her whole body went rigid before she realized that it was Todd, _her Todd,_ and he was kissing her like she was the only thing that had ever or would ever exist. She closed her eyes without fear that she’d never open them again and pressed herself close to him, locking both hands around his neck, letting her years of longing for something just like this fade away and escape. Relaxing in the knowledge that as far as last moments on Earth go, this wasn’t bad, not bad at all, while still wishing she was leaving after a lifetime of moments just like this shared with the boy she’d loved since she met him .

Her breath caught in her chest, and Todd pulled away from her, the love in his eyes replaced with fear. “Viola?” he asked. She managed a weak smile, trying to calm her breathing to as normal as it would ever be again.

“Thank you,” she whispered. The darkness hid everything but Todd’s face now, and she raised one hand to wipe away the tears falling down his cheeks, wishing more than anything that she wasn’t the cause of them. 

“I wish I hadn’t been too scared to do that before,” he said, kissing her forehead. “Maybe then this wouldn’t be happening.” He looked at her like she was the brightest star in the sky, but he knew that she was long dead by the time he saw her light.

“This isn’t your fault, Todd, okay? It’s not anybody’s except that soldier who aimed that gun at you. I don’t regret a second of our friendship, and while I’ll always wonder what might have been, I’ll always be happy for this moment.” She pressed her forehead against his, drinking in the sight of him, content in the knowledge that his dark eyes would be the last she ever looked into.

He sighed. “There you go, knowin’ just what to say again. You’re dyin’ right here in my arms, and you’re comfortin’ me.”

Viola opened her mouth to respond, but the steadily encroaching darkness made its way to the center of her vision, her grip on Todd loosening and giving way entirely. Her head rolled back, and she couldn’t tell if her eyes were closed or if she had simply lost her sight. Todd shrieked her name over and over like it was the only word he knew, but the words sounded like they were coming through cotton, fighting their way to her against all odds, begging her not to leave him alone. She wanted to reach out to him, to grab his arm and assure him that she wasn’t going anywhere, but her arm was trapped in an invisible vice and her throat didn’t know how to work except to make strangled sounds that would worry him rather than comfort him.

Her breath slowed until even she wasn’t certain it was there anymore, and she felt herself drifting farther and farther away from everything she’d ever known. Right before she lost her tremulous hold on the world around her, she slammed back into her body, regaining a heightened awareness of everything going on even as her breath grew shallower. Her eyes fluttered open, blurry but fixing themselves on Todd, and she focused every thought on one sentence.

“Viola?” Todd asked, hopeful in spite of himself.

“I think—” She coughed. “I think I was in love with you, Todd Hewitt.”

A little smile played on her lips as her last breath shuddered from her chest and she heard him say clearer than she’d ever heard anything before, “I know I was in love with you, Viola Eade.”

**Author's Note:**

> so uh, i had to stop writing this four different times because it was putting me through immense emotional pain. however, i'm really happy with how it turned out, and i hope you all like it as much as i do!


End file.
